wala lang.. wala na kong magawa.. and im running out of words to say.. ano nga ba sasabihin ko?? see?? told you.. say what?? hmm lemme think lemme think.. wala lang asar kc ko kaya nde ako makapagsalita.. asar ako sa isang tao jan.. sa tabi tabi can't hardly understand why.. yun lang muna 

kakainis nakaka asar sheht!! baguhin daw ba yung sched ng feasib? mawala daw vah ang exhibit?? actually as in not totally gone.. idedefend mo muna bago ka magbenta.. hindi ba kaasar yun?? kasi nakabili ka na't lahat ng kakailanganin nagpakahirap ka na't lahat wala lang pala?? pabago bago pa yung sched ng exhibit wahhh!! pahirapan daw vah?? ang payat payat ko na ng kaka overnight nagkanda pigaan na kami ng utak nagaway away na't lahat tapos ganto lang?? babaguhin nyo?? kainis! nakakaasar talaga!!! ang laki laki na nga pimple ko sa forehead sa kaka overnight babaguhin nila ng ganun ganun na lang?? akala ko ba ang deal pag nde bumenta saka magdedefense?? pahirapan daw vah?? akala ko ba marketing, technical, saka financial lang?? bakit kasama ang management aspect?? bakit andami dami nyong  pinapagawa e wla naman kayong tinuturo?? papabook bind nyo pa samin?? without even checking kung tama yung nagawa namin?? ano yon?? magaaksaya kami ng money?? feeling nyo sobrang yaman namin?? and what about the tickets?? nde ba dapat sagot nyo yon?? pababayaran  nyo pa samin ang paprint nun?? e kayo naman me gusto nun?? nakaka asar ha!! eto alam nyo ba san lakad ko this days?? sa bahay ng classmate ko si che!! alam nyo ba dun na ko kumakain sa kanila ng dinner, nakakahiyang kumain ng marami dahil nakiki kain lang ako!! alam nyo rin ba na kami lang 2 ang gumagawa nun imbes na 5 members ang magpapakahirap gumawa nun? asan ang 3?? nawawala me kanya kanyang mundo!!  nde ba nakaka inis yun?? at alam nyo ba kung anong oras ako umuuwi?? 11pm nakasakay pa lang ako ng jeep nun papuntang sm maglalakad pa ko para makasakay papuntang victory nde ba akakapagod yun? pabago bago  kasi ng sched naiinis na ko!! marami pa  kong sasabihin but i gotta go!! pupunta pa ko kina che!!            

finally.. natapos din namin yung bank statements (OJT) ang hirap nun! 2 days maghapon.. actually matagal ng tapos yun.. pinaulit lang uli kasi naghihimutok si ma'am lea e kasi sinunod lang naman nila pan yung nasa trial balance yung iba daw active pa bakit nasa close nag away pa nga sila ni ma'am susan dahil dun, well nde naman totally away medyo nagkasagutan lang ng konti (konti lang naman) kasi nga yun yung instructions na binigay samin nung wala sya kaya pinagtanggol kami.. lagi naman kami pinagtatanggol nun e lalo na dun sa teller na mataray.. teller lang naman sya e ang sama na ng ugali nya.. lagi pa kami nililibre nun ehehe ang saya! parang ayoko na tuloy matapos yung ojt.. pero we have to kasi hanggang 200 hours lang ang pede naming itagal dun.. eh hanggang sa end na ng januaray kami matatapos.. kaya i'll totally miss everything about pnb e may opening naman daw e.. ihihi yun lang.. bukas konti na lang gagawin namin.. pero nde rin.. pero nde kasing bigat nung bank statements ang dami dami kasi nun e kaya nakakapagod.. ngayon?? proproblemahin ko naman yung sa feasib hayyyy.. nde na natapos!! pero sana matapos ko nah!!
--wag nyo na pagdasal si ben!! magaling na yun!! mag kaaway nga kami nun e!! well, nde naman as in mortal enemies.. wala lang kaasar lang sya!! nauubos ang load ko sa kanya gwabeh!! P50 good for 5 days nagiging 1day na lang kaasar talaga yun!! nde naman ako pinapasahan ng load!! e kc tnt sya ako tm gets? eheh pagod na ko gusto ko na umuwi!! sana matapos ko na yung draft ng feasib namin!!! wahhhh!! nde ko pa pala nasisimulan!! konti lang sheht!! naiwan ko cell ko!! have to go!!

still not over him... sheeshh..

How many times did i pray you'd find me...
How many wishes on a star,
Gazing off into the dark
Dreaming I'd see your face
Safe at home unafraid
Captured in your embrace

So many times when my heart was broken,
Visions of you would keep me strong,
You were with me all along
Guiding my every step
You are all that I am
And I'll never forget.

It was you, who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you, looking in my eyes
You held my hand and showed me life
And i've never been the same
Since you first believed

There were times when I thought I'd lost you
Fearing forever was a dream
But it wasn't what it seemed
Placing your hand in mine
You could see in the dark
You were guiding my heart

It was you, who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you, looking in my eyes
You held my hand and showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed

It was you, who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you, looking in my eyes
You held my hand and showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed

How many times did I pray you'd find me
How many wishes on a star...

-- ganda noh? how I'd wish he was my destiny.. but he never were how i'd wish he was my last but it never came true.. how I'd wish he's the one I'm praying for but then he was just passing by.. all my dreams i wish would come true but they never in just a second came to life.. i never felt this lonely before how i'd wish all these heartaches would just vanish into thin air.. how i'd wish.. hoping for a sign that he would look back and stare at me with thoughts he wanted to stay.. stay beside me and be with me till eternity.. i don't want to stay this way.. i really wish i can say im ok.. ok with all this pain you cause me.. i wish i could smile at you and say its fine.. how i wish i could say its over now.. i wish i could just move on without a tear in my eye.. but how can i do all these?? just tell me so i can really move on with my life now.. hate feeling this way.. really hate it!

yeah.. its quite boring here.. i just wish we'll get through from all this.. sucking subjects.. sorry for the words but im quite exausted and stressed out already.. we really should be working hard for everything kung gusto namin makagraduate.. ok i'll spill! why im acting strange lately? its because of some people, some things, i just can't get my head off.. this thing really sucks!! it does!!!! i really hate feeling like this! i do! hate it when people just misunderstood you.. hate it when people just try to get close to you (bolabola) for the sake of their selfishness.. hate it when people get control of what you really like or want or need, hate it when people try to ask you for something pagtapos parang nde na kayo magkakilala, those user-friendly people friendly na user just trash you in one corner leaving you behind with all the problems in the world.. and let you hang there till you suck to death (hindi pa naman nangyayari) oohhhhhh!! i just hate it! hate it! hate it! hate it when things won't fall in its right place.. you know the feeling.. everything just suck! hate it!! damn! maybe this is just some old unlucky days of mine bad hair day pa! kainis talaga! sorry you guys for seeing this.. just want to let my anger pass by doing this! damn!

1. yeah.. its been.. a tough day.. syempre sa ojt.. nga pala.. yesterday pan and I watched a movie LOTR di ko masyadong naget pero i quite understood it kahit nde ko pa napanood yung 1st and 2nd part ng LOTR.. me kasalanan ako kay jhen kasi bigyan ba daw ako ng assignment? buti sana kung nagtext sya ng maaga aga para nagawa ko bago manood ng sine.. pero ok lang nde naman sya nagalit eh.. kasi naman dapat sya talaga gumagawa nun kasi nde ko naman kilala yung friend nya eh sya lang makakagawa nun.. she's asking me to write a palanca letter yun pala tawag dun kasi gumagawa ako ng letter sa kanila.. yun pala tawag dun.. basta nde ko maexplain eh.. kahit sino naman makakagawa nun.. sorry talaga jhen.. pero kung maaga aga ka nagtext sana nagawa ko pa.. naisend ko pa sana dun sa email add ng friend mo.. buti sana kung hapon nya kelangan e nagtext ka 8pm.. 8 am pa kelangan.. hindi ba ang hirap ng pinapagawa mo? parang computer ang utak ko syempre kelangan ko rin magisip.. nde po ako naghihimutok dito nagpapaliwanag lang po.. anyway sana nde mo to mabasa eheheheh e wala lang.. pero promise tutulungan talaga kita sa abot ng makakaya ko kaso kagabi nde na nakayanan ng powers ko e galing din ako sa ojt nun deretso sm centerpoint 9:30 pa natapos yung LOTR.. SORRY talaga!! promise next time!!
2. i changed my cell# wala lang.. feel ko lang.. sorry you guys..just because of one person napapalit tuloy ako ng # wala lang.. na feel ko lang talaga na i really have to move on and forget everything in the past.. the past was great and tough too.. though it really hurts to let go i have to. get nyo na? wag mamimiss wag mamimiss ok?? :D napacoca cola tuloy ako.. ehehehe.. ah basta i dunno if ever i'll change my mind about this matter eh kasi naiinis na ko sa kanya lagi na lang nya kong pinapaiyak kahit wala syang ginagawa sakin or kahit me ginagawa sya sakin.. get nyo na? grabeh noh? sobrang lungkot na ng lablyp ko kasi naghihintay ako sa wala.. pag napagisip isip kong kalimutan sya dun sya nagpaparamdam pero pag hinihintay ko na rin sya wala naman sya diba ang labo nun? ako lang nasasaktan.. at kahit na ano naman gawin ako mahal ko pa rin yon.. so para lang 1st step toh at least kahit alam ko # nya me pride din naman ako nde ko sya tatawagan wala naman kasi lagi sya at least nde na sya makakapagparamdam para nde na ko masasaktan get nyo nah? ehehe grabeh masakit kahit patago.. masmasakit nga pag padago kaya ayoko na iignore ko na lang talaga pagod na ko sa kanya eh.. inis talaga ko eh.. yun lang ang story ng lablyp ko ngayon wala na kong angel nde naman totoo yun eh.. what i mean sa lablyp yung angel get nyo nah? ehehe cge na!! nababaliw na ko dito eh.. yun lang

grabeh kainis talaga! im already in the middle of something really serious here bigla nalang syang maghahang kaasar! pag ganun.. onti pang time yung natitira tuloy.. pero ok lang at least na open ko yung friendster ko kaya ok na ko ehehehe.. joke joke joke nde naman talaga ko adik dun e.. actually na adik na ko dito sa pag lagay lagay sa blog ko ehehehe balak talagang punuin simula jan hanggang dec syempre para me silbi naman kahit pano blog ko dah vah?? anyways, yung ginawa ko namang blog kanina nde ko naman dapat ipost yon e.. kasi baka me magselos pa.. kasi inamin ko na rin naman na kahit pano.. ewan ko kung etoh yung right word for this pero baka kc maapektuhan parin ako kung sakaling malaman ng angel ko toh.. ehehe see?? still do have feelings for that mokong though yoko talaga iadmit yun kahit kanino kahit sa kanya kc lalaki nanaman ulo nun.. pero now you know.. kaya bahala na kung malaman nya pa or what.. basta ewan ko na lang.. see yah guys.. yun lang masasabi ko eh..

i dunno.. i just felt concerned about my friend though i still don't know him that well..  he's very very nice though i haven't seen him.. (in person) but he's such a nice friend, he's funny and all he's a gentleman too.. i think.. hope he'll recover soon.. anyways, eto nanaman ako namomoblema sa feasib always and forever naman e!! hindi na natapos tapos.. sana maki cooperate na ang magsisicooperate para matapos na toh at mawala na kaba ko.. ayokong langawin ang feasib ko sa 29-30 oops parang feasib ko lang yun nde pala akin lang yun sa amin pala yun ehehe e kc naman feeling ko ako lang mag isa namomoblema nun kaasar talaga!! thanks for all those who prayed for benedict.. thanks alot guys and gals.. sabi ng kapatid nya he's ok na daw kaso hindi natanggal yung bullet sa back nya.. well anyways.. see yah 'round you guys..

please pray for my friend benedict, he was shot yesterday at the right chest so please pray for him!! he need it very badly.. hope he'll recover!!