it's been a long time.. well, we had our final interview at makati an hour ago at equicom systems ok naman pala eh.. pero sana wag nila kaming takutin sa monday.. it's either they hire us or sorry na lang pero sana naman noh! ihire na nila kami wish ko lang.. anyways, i wrote a new poem ewan ko lang kung natype ko na yun dito, gagawin kong entry yun sa online poetry contest wala lang.. kc its been a long time na nde ako nakakapag pasa sa kanila ng poem.. yun lang muna for now.. mauubos na time ko ditow.. wish ko lang maayos na yung pc so i don't have to rent a pc anymore.

can i be just a crybaby for one day? this day really sucks! well i don't have the authority to say bad things today and forever kc nga of my promise to ^ at mamaya pupunta ko kina tita mel for the celebration, i don't really know why or for what.. basta alam ko tungkol sa ^ i thank him for everything he did for me ^ lalo na yung pagkasama ko sa final qualified applicants sa epldt pero this day? dapat me exam ako sa accenture i was having second thoughts kc parang masama pakiramdam ko i even asked for a sign again kc di ko nga sure if i'll go or what.. kaso yung mga sinasabi nila angs and pheng about accenture keeps echoing in my head at parang ayaw tumigil.. kaya i decided to go na lang kahit na masama pakiramdam ko and i even asked him again ^ to guide me specially on my way there kc baka maligaw ako c0z makati's a big place pero nde excuse yon yung taguig nga napuntahan ko mag isa tapos makati lang nde ko pa kayang puntahan? dba? so i went there pero wala lang walang nangyari para lang akong naground trip from cubao to makati then makati to cubao nde nga ako bumaba ng bus c0z the conductor said na ibababa nya ko dun then nakalimutan nya hayun.. naiiyak na talaga ko kanina as in sobrang pigil na ang luha ko ang sakit na nga ng lalamunan ko buti na lang me tissue ako so yun.. buti na lang me tv din dun para di ko maisip yung nangyari kanina.. nakaka inis talaga gusto ko na umiyak kanina.. maybe bec0z i didn't get to take the exam in accenture naubos pa money ko dun then gutom pa ko and everything.. tapos ang dami ko pang nakikitang couples nakaka inis because they were so sweet nakaka inggit... being single really #@!* then i thought of what if kami pa? sana nagpakamanhid na lang ako then i wouldn't have to let him go because he hurts me so much that i couldn't even take it kc puro na lang iyak ang nangyayari sa lovelife ko.. angs already said that he wasn't worth to give another try kc with the way he treats me.. no he's not violent or something kaso masakit yung ginagawa nya driving me away from him, ang sakit nun dba? telling me things that he likes someone better than i am.. i don't see the point? why do he have to do that? gusto nya lang siguro ko makitang umiiyak sa kanya.. because i don't want him to go.. never in my life that i wanted him to leave naku.. eto nanaman ako.. gusto ko na talaga iiyak lahat para mawala na toh.. i just wanted a little space to think and love myself back without all the hassle or something.. pero wala eh.. instead he chose to keep quiet about it.. d ko pa narinig sa kanya i mean eye to eye that he loves me back and he wants me for the rest of his life e ngayon yun yung nafifeel ko kayo etoh! i know i was a fool to let go and let him leave me.. he chose to believe someone else instead of me.. dba masakit yon? then just last month or a couple of months of im not mistaken he even told me that he still wants me back.. pinapakiramdaman ko lang naman eh.. i don't know if he's playing or what.. nalilito na ko.. pero ngayon? its much clearer kc he already have a new gf.. so much for waiting.. ang sakit talaga.. kaya gusto ko buhos na lahat ng luha ko pagsasama samahin ko na yung sakit para mawala na lahat kaso can't do that kc walang time.. kc pagod na ko the whole day pagdating ko ng bahay antok na ko so wala rin the next day morning.. i have to wake up early para maghanap ng work and then the same routine over and over again so wala talagang time.. pero sana dumating yung day na meron talagang right guy for me.. yung he'll stay for the rest of my life.. taking care of me and loving me unconditionally basta someone i could really share my life with yung hindi marunong manakit.. masayang kasama.. always there.. a friend.. a companion.. basta kaso wala na yatang nag eexist na ganun sa panahon ngayon..

there are lots of things to write about kaso wala na ko sa mood.. im sick and tired of going out and look for a job feeling ko wala namang nangyayari.. puro exams.. puro interviews.. walang ka resu-resulta.. i saw an ad sa manilla bulletin kaso kelangan engineering natapos mo saka kelangan me 5 years experience na eh sobrang dali naman ng responsibilities mo sobrang gusto ko yan pwamis!! the position?? internet researcher.. sounds good to me syempre mahilig kaya ako sa internet.. why do companies have to stick with your resumes?? dapat inaalam muna nila kung ano kaya mong gawin kaso nde naman lahat malalaman nila sa isang interviewhan lang.. and when it comes to interviews most companies gusto nila brief lang ang sasabihin mo the whole thought kung bakit gusto mo mag apply nawawala nde ba pedeng mag apply sa gusto mong position kahit nde ka qualified pero you love doing it-- i mean yung responsibilites na nacocover ng gusto mo talagang position.. tomorrow i have an exam at pldt ni hindi ko alam kung pano puntahan kasi sa boni, im not so familiar with the place sa thursday sa accenture, mas lalo naman dun ang laki laki ng makati.. kung sana lang me mabait na maghahatid sakin dun :-)

hehe.. you might be wonderin' >> "what's with the title??" -- heehee it was just a tiny lil wish heehee to see my crush "B" don't want 2 state his name here ehehe baka mabuko ko nang hindi sinasadya ehehe, e kc i've been hiding this feelings for him for the last i think almost 6 years or so i dunno..ehehe yoko mabuko ngayon pa!!  im happy with what im feelin' saka nde ko naman kelangan sabihin sa kanya c0z i don't wanna be his girl e kc baka me magbago.. im happy na with what was goin' on  well, it happened when i was wonderin' c0z a couple of people called a cab in a place where i used to see "B" dun sa kabilang kanto mahabang wento  anyway.. e kc mainit ulo ko yesterday dahil dun sa taong huli kong nakausap ng gabing iyon that was saturday  actually asar lang ako ng konti at ayoko na syang makausap ulit!!  then me dumaan na scooter sa harap ko.. it was "B"  ang saya saya  i was just thinkin' about him ehhehe.. ayun he winked at me naka smile pa.. e late reaction ako nakaalis na sya dun ko palang nalaman na sya pala yon lagi na lang ganon a couple of months ago or i think last year nakita nya rin ako dun sa me pcso kasi tapat ng pnb-nfa yung pinag oojthan ko  he was there.. he called my name kaso nde ako lumingon c0z i was busy texting my friend magkikita kc kami sa sm he then yelled at me "kunin ko cellphone mo!!" then i realized it was him.. he smiled at me then i smiled back that's when i realized na sya pala yon.. nakakatuwa kc we really never been that close we were just schoolmates.. yeah we tease each other once (surname) in a while pero we were never really close ang saya kasi months had past or even years nakalimutan ko na sya halos still hindi pa rin nya ko nakakalimutan diba ang saya nun?? to think na crush ko pa sya the first encounter kasi he was really a joker at ang saya nya kasama the first time kc classmate ko yung barkada nya at friendly naman sila.. basta masaya lang heehee.. wish i could list here all the details kung bakit ko sya crush heehee minahal ko na rin ata yun dati when we were in high school heehee i can never forget the cookies.. the dance.. the kulitan blues.. habulan blues.... at kung ano ano pang blues.. one thing ang taba na nya!!  nagkalaman na sya kahit pano.. buti pa sya ano kayang ginawa nya?? makachikahan nga the next time sana makabangga ko naman sya para medyo matagal tagal ehehehe matanong kung anong ginawa nya mas payatot pa kc sakin yon dati he was asking everybody kung nakikita na ba puso nya sa sobrang taba nya hehehe.. i also got a couple of compliments this week gumaganda daw ehehe sana naman next time "tumataba ka ha??" sana talaga tumaba na ko kahit magkalaman lang  see yah!!

wooooohwooooooo!! finally graduating n koh!! yippee!! the long wait has finally come to an end hayyy.. nako exagg talaga ko e sa tuesday pa yon.. anyways.. alam ko naman nde ako makakapagpost nang araw na yon eh kaya gagawin ko na lang ngayon ehehe.. just got back from skul actually nasa tapat padin ako ng skul till now.. eh hinihintay nga ko ng mom ko sa store nyeheheh.. lagot ako dun.. ang tagal ko kc.. anyways.. enough about that.. i saw my friends at ang gaan gaan ng feeling nagkikita nanaman kami eh.. magkikita pa naman kami bukas eh saka sa monday for the mass saka sa breakfast sa skul libre yun eh.. eh baka nga kasama din yun sa binayaran namin bago kami umalis ng skul grabeh noh?? aalis ka na't lahat iiwanan ka pa ng kung ano-anong bayarin grabeh na ituh!! ang saya saya pinagusapan namin yung nakaraan saka yung future mamimiss ko sila gwabeh na ituh!! syempre naging malaking part sila ng magulong life ko ehehe.. finally came to my senses nde na ko bata and being bata is not an excuse sa maraming bagay katuld ng tut ng tut at ng tut ayoko sabihin ditow eh.. heehee.. anyways.. yun lang me nakapag sabi kasi sakin na nde na ko bata eh.. kahit na iniinsist ko na bata pa ko at napag isip isip ko yun ng libo libong beses actually nde naman konti lang pewo alam ko na nde na talaga ko bata eh anong gagawin ko?? ewan ko ba.. go with the flow na lang atoh!! pero syempwe pag iisipan ko muna ang mga bagay bagay bago ko magpadalosdalos hindi po ba?? anyway masyado na kong maraming nailalagay dito at baka magalit na skin ang mahal kong ina sa sobrang tagal ko dito.. at kung ano ano pa.. gusto ko lang po magpasalamat sa lahat ng taong nagbigay buhay sa patay kong life.. joke lang.. ty sa lahat ng friends ko magkakahiwa hiwalay na tayo mga friendship pero sana magkitakita uli tayo pagdating ng panahon.. mamimiis ko talaga kayo sobra.. see yah!! bagong world na itoh mga tsong at tsang!! nde na talaga tayo mga bata!! kelangan na nating tanggapin sa mga sarili natin yon!! lalong lalo na ko huhuhu!! mahilig pa naman akong mag excuse na bata pa ko huhuhu.. o sya yun na lang pow muna babayuu good luck sa lahat people!! salamat sa pakikisama!! sa pagmamahal at pag aaruaga!! sa lahat lahat po maraming maraming salamat --makata ba?? hey that's me masanay na kayo!! babayuu=;

ayoko na sayo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pinapahirapan mo puso koooooooooooooooooooo!! nakakainis ka!!!!!!!!!!! nde na ko magpaparamdam sayo!!!!!!!!!!! eto sayo!!!!!!!!!!!  

***mahirap talaga mainlab sa nde mo kakilala
***mag mamadre na lang atohhhh

sheesh i've never felt this good.. yesterday lang parang babagsak na mundo ko but im still here.. laughing till my stomach aches e kc ang saya saya naman talaga heehee kc im graduating sa wakas!! finally!! i've learned lots of things from yesterday it's all because in one book gulat ako meron din si sir sarzuelo nun :D thanks sir!! for letting me pass and not just me.. all of us.. wee!! thanks! so much po!! we'll see you soon.. ang saya saya!! grabeh na ituh!!

A hundred days have made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face. A thousand lies have made me colder and I don't think I can look at this the same. And all the miles that seperate disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face. I'm here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight, it's only you and me. The miles just keep rollin' as the people leave their way to say hello. I've heard this life is overrated but I hope that it gets better as we go. I'm here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight girl, it's only you and me. And everything I know, and anywhere I go It gets hard but it won't take away my love. And when the last one falls, and when it's all said and done It gets hard but it won't take away my love. I'm here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and i dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl, it's only you and me -- para sa lablyp ko toh akmang akma if you only knew what happened kaso yoko ng balikbalikan though yoko naman mag let go :(

never been this worse before.. feels like my whole world's falling apart.. everything.. from love :p to school :( if god would only give me another chance siguro i would give up loving someone na lang kesa sa career or school kasi when you love you'll only get hurt kasi papaiyakin ka lang then iiwan ka.. in my case baliktad nga lang kc yoko maiwan so instead of waiting for his answer i just left without even looking back.. e kc dun din naman papunta yun eh.. now?? im really not sure and im really not thinking of getting over it.. him.. kahit na sobrang dami ng guys na nilalagay ko dito sa blog ko kala nyo sila na talaga noh?? they were just my friend nothing serious goin' on about us.. kc yoko na.. and im tired of it feeling ko lang i have to have someone to get over from my experience with ... alam nyo na kung sino yun.. one friend asked me "are you a keeper?" malay ko kung anong keeper e yun tungkol dun naman pala ang topic, sabi ko depende sa situation e depende naman talaga kung titingnan mo yung picture pero if i were to ask that question again i would say yes kahit masakit sa loob kasi ako yung nasasaktan ang lulupit kc ng tadhana pang asar magdrama daw ba? anyways.. gotta run.. im runnin' out of money yun naman laging prob e :p sana lang this time makahanap na ko ng talagang totoong tao na hindi marunong mamressure (ayoko ng isang pressure cooker sa buhay ko ngayon!! pls lang!!) just give me ample time to think about things c0z for me?? it's really not that easy.. just to ignore my so called past feelings kahit past na yun and2 pa rin e i don't have the will nga lang to let go.. if someone could only teach me how.. i'll do anything for them wag lang yung nde ko kayang ibigay :D :(