kainis nawala lahat ng tinype ko anyways.. buti na lang kesa naman sa memakakita pa.. e tapos na naman yun.. hayy.. anyways.. im just asking for your prayers guys and gals we really need your prayers specially on this one.. i mean two.. feasib and tax really need to pass this two subjects to graduate please?? really need your prayers.. thanks you guys..

If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through
Tonight
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you, baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you

And if I don't need your touch
Why do I miss you so much
Tonight
If it's just infatuation then
Why is my heart aching
To hold you forever
Give a part of me I thought I'd never
Give again to someone I could lose
If I'm not in love with you

Why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Lovers lost in sweet desire
Why in dreams do I surrender
Lying with you baby
Someone help explain this feeling
Someone tell me

If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through
Tonight
And if my heart is lying then what should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you

-- eto ang song na nakakarelate ako :D la lang.. this song?? syempre kay current kaso now?? i don't know if i still have feelings for the guy kasi nga naturn off ako.. e kc kasalanan yun nung friends nya.. kasalanan nya rin kc hinayaan nya na maloko ko ng mga friends nya.. yun yung kababawan kung bakit na turn off ako sa kanya.. kc he's not that guy na kaya kang paglaban or kung me nararamdaman di kayang ipaglaban yung nararamdaman nya naget nyo ko??
-- in short he's not the guy im looking for.. kung seryoso ka you'll swallow your pride and your "cool" image just to finally get your girl e kaso nde e.. ok lang wala lang.. never mind.. sabi nga dba kung ayaw?? maraming dahilan.. kung gusto maraming paraan.. kung me tyaga me nilaga dba?? kung naghihintay ka ng grasya wala kang makukuha kasi ang tamad mo!! yun lang yun eh!! kaso tingin ko 50/50 na kasi medyo hurt the first few days ewan ko lang ngayon..

forget about the things i've said about him.. anyways i was just worried and it was just i think an infatuation and nothing else.. sheesh sorry.. false alarm.. don't ask.. i'll just type it down here hehe.. i was kinda turned off you know.. don't wanna spill the details c0z it was kinda mababaw.. e basta wag na lang.. ayun.. so zero loveife pa rin sheesh that's me.. can i just have a simple relationship with the guy i like a bit older than me?? just simple and no complications pls?? baka maging man hater na ko neto pagtapos hay...

anyways we've just saw the film "chasing liberty" and somehow nakakarelate ako somehow somewhat lang naman.. see yah guys..

got nothing much to say.. ive been thinkin' bout things no i mean "him" the current "him" and ive been thinking about him hehe puro him.. can't get him off my mind but i have to.. there's nothing much about him though and i don't really liked to have him as.. you know bf because he reminds me of.. don't wanna state his name here.. though i really like him being there, i like his company and all though he lives in a place that i really hate.. even hated the sound of it.. but i have to face the facts that there might be or i might be meeting friends from there "C" is a big place and not everyone's a cheater you just have to meet them and see for yourself if they really are.. i really dont know what to do now.. i tried to keep an open mind about this and he probably likes to have me to be.. his.. you know what.. but im really not certain about this.. the truth is i kinda told him things that I'm really not interested to have him as.. i kinda ignored the feelings though i really want him there.. magulo?..
** in short this must be it, the one im waiting for.. but.. things about him.. facts about him.. some things about him really gives me the creeps c0z i really hated the other guy.. i mean its not his fault na pareho sila ng boses pareho sila kung san nakatira.. pareho sila ng tawa that really gives me the creeps nakakaasar noh? tell me what to do :((

just got back from school.. nothing much to say.. lemme see..im gonna meet my friends at che's house to cook up some food for the free taste that'll be for thursday.. tomorrow.. see yah!! have to go!!

wala lang.. wala na kong magawa.. and im running out of words to say.. ano nga ba sasabihin ko?? see?? told you.. say what?? hmm lemme think lemme think.. wala lang asar kc ko kaya nde ako makapagsalita.. asar ako sa isang tao jan.. sa tabi tabi can't hardly understand why.. yun lang muna 

kakainis nakaka asar sheht!! baguhin daw ba yung sched ng feasib? mawala daw vah ang exhibit?? actually as in not totally gone.. idedefend mo muna bago ka magbenta.. hindi ba kaasar yun?? kasi nakabili ka na't lahat ng kakailanganin nagpakahirap ka na't lahat wala lang pala?? pabago bago pa yung sched ng exhibit wahhh!! pahirapan daw vah?? ang payat payat ko na ng kaka overnight nagkanda pigaan na kami ng utak nagaway away na't lahat tapos ganto lang?? babaguhin nyo?? kainis! nakakaasar talaga!!! ang laki laki na nga pimple ko sa forehead sa kaka overnight babaguhin nila ng ganun ganun na lang?? akala ko ba ang deal pag nde bumenta saka magdedefense?? pahirapan daw vah?? akala ko ba marketing, technical, saka financial lang?? bakit kasama ang management aspect?? bakit andami dami nyong  pinapagawa e wla naman kayong tinuturo?? papabook bind nyo pa samin?? without even checking kung tama yung nagawa namin?? ano yon?? magaaksaya kami ng money?? feeling nyo sobrang yaman namin?? and what about the tickets?? nde ba dapat sagot nyo yon?? pababayaran  nyo pa samin ang paprint nun?? e kayo naman me gusto nun?? nakaka asar ha!! eto alam nyo ba san lakad ko this days?? sa bahay ng classmate ko si che!! alam nyo ba dun na ko kumakain sa kanila ng dinner, nakakahiyang kumain ng marami dahil nakiki kain lang ako!! alam nyo rin ba na kami lang 2 ang gumagawa nun imbes na 5 members ang magpapakahirap gumawa nun? asan ang 3?? nawawala me kanya kanyang mundo!!  nde ba nakaka inis yun?? at alam nyo ba kung anong oras ako umuuwi?? 11pm nakasakay pa lang ako ng jeep nun papuntang sm maglalakad pa ko para makasakay papuntang victory nde ba akakapagod yun? pabago bago  kasi ng sched naiinis na ko!! marami pa  kong sasabihin but i gotta go!! pupunta pa ko kina che!!            

finally.. natapos din namin yung bank statements (OJT) ang hirap nun! 2 days maghapon.. actually matagal ng tapos yun.. pinaulit lang uli kasi naghihimutok si ma'am lea e kasi sinunod lang naman nila pan yung nasa trial balance yung iba daw active pa bakit nasa close nag away pa nga sila ni ma'am susan dahil dun, well nde naman totally away medyo nagkasagutan lang ng konti (konti lang naman) kasi nga yun yung instructions na binigay samin nung wala sya kaya pinagtanggol kami.. lagi naman kami pinagtatanggol nun e lalo na dun sa teller na mataray.. teller lang naman sya e ang sama na ng ugali nya.. lagi pa kami nililibre nun ehehe ang saya! parang ayoko na tuloy matapos yung ojt.. pero we have to kasi hanggang 200 hours lang ang pede naming itagal dun.. eh hanggang sa end na ng januaray kami matatapos.. kaya i'll totally miss everything about pnb e may opening naman daw e.. ihihi yun lang.. bukas konti na lang gagawin namin.. pero nde rin.. pero nde kasing bigat nung bank statements ang dami dami kasi nun e kaya nakakapagod.. ngayon?? proproblemahin ko naman yung sa feasib hayyyy.. nde na natapos!! pero sana matapos ko nah!!
--wag nyo na pagdasal si ben!! magaling na yun!! mag kaaway nga kami nun e!! well, nde naman as in mortal enemies.. wala lang kaasar lang sya!! nauubos ang load ko sa kanya gwabeh!! P50 good for 5 days nagiging 1day na lang kaasar talaga yun!! nde naman ako pinapasahan ng load!! e kc tnt sya ako tm gets? eheh pagod na ko gusto ko na umuwi!! sana matapos ko na yung draft ng feasib namin!!! wahhhh!! nde ko pa pala nasisimulan!! konti lang sheht!! naiwan ko cell ko!! have to go!!

still not over him... sheeshh..

How many times did i pray you'd find me...
How many wishes on a star,
Gazing off into the dark
Dreaming I'd see your face
Safe at home unafraid
Captured in your embrace

So many times when my heart was broken,
Visions of you would keep me strong,
You were with me all along
Guiding my every step
You are all that I am
And I'll never forget.

It was you, who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you, looking in my eyes
You held my hand and showed me life
And i've never been the same
Since you first believed

There were times when I thought I'd lost you
Fearing forever was a dream
But it wasn't what it seemed
Placing your hand in mine
You could see in the dark
You were guiding my heart

It was you, who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you, looking in my eyes
You held my hand and showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed

It was you, who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you, looking in my eyes
You held my hand and showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed

How many times did I pray you'd find me
How many wishes on a star...

-- ganda noh? how I'd wish he was my destiny.. but he never were how i'd wish he was my last but it never came true.. how I'd wish he's the one I'm praying for but then he was just passing by.. all my dreams i wish would come true but they never in just a second came to life.. i never felt this lonely before how i'd wish all these heartaches would just vanish into thin air.. how i'd wish.. hoping for a sign that he would look back and stare at me with thoughts he wanted to stay.. stay beside me and be with me till eternity.. i don't want to stay this way.. i really wish i can say im ok.. ok with all this pain you cause me.. i wish i could smile at you and say its fine.. how i wish i could say its over now.. i wish i could just move on without a tear in my eye.. but how can i do all these?? just tell me so i can really move on with my life now.. hate feeling this way.. really hate it!